Est. 2026 — Heavyweight Protestwear
HeavyCotton.HeavierOpinions.
Funny, sharp, heavyweight tees and hoodies for people who read the news and refuse to be quiet about it. Premium fabric. Zero fascists. Some assembly required at Thanksgiving.
★ Limited spotlight
No Kings
October 17
The three No Kings designs, together for the day. Independent apparel — not official event merchandise. Printed to order, so delivery by October 17 is not guaranteed.
The
Current
Drop
Wearable dissent in tees, hoodies and fitted baby tees. Printed to order.
Anger burns out by Tuesday. A good joke gets quoted at Thanksgiving for a decade.
The Manifesto
Four things
we actually
believe.
Heavyweight Only
6.1 oz garment-dyed tees. 340 gsm heavyweight fleece hoodies. Fabric that outlasts news cycles, scandals, and most political careers.
Punch Up, Never Down
Every joke on this site aims at power. Never at people. The government has lawyers — it can take a joke. That is the whole trick, and it is not negotiable.
Funny Beats Furious
Anger burns out by Tuesday. A good joke gets quoted at Thanksgiving for a decade. We print the second one.
Wash Cold, Stay Hot
Machine wash cold. Hang dry. Wear to family dinners. Results may vary. Opinions will not.
Spotlight № 03
The uniform of the ungovernable.
ICE BELONGS IN MY DRINK printed across the chest in bold block type. For everyone who thinks ICE should stay in their glass. Heavyweight fleece hoodie, relaxed unisex fit. Black, Heather Grey, and White, sizes S to 3XL. Printed to order.
The On-The-Rocks Hoodie — $59.99
Grab one before
they're banned.
Kidding. Probably. Either way, the cotton is heavyweight and the jokes are load-bearing.
Shop everything
Fleece






